Surrender of the Black Family Rose
by Charitable Millionaire
Summary: What if the prophecy in the department of mysteries was about Sirius, not Harry? What if Hermione finds an ancient box in the Black family's possession that curses her and ties her fate irrevocably to Sirius? When forced into making a decision, will Sirius do the right thing or act recklessly? Eventual M.
1. Prologue

**Curse of the Black Family Rose**

 **Disclaimer: I am not JK Rowling and do not own the copyright to Harry Potter or any of its characters; I do not make any profit from writing fanfiction.  
**

 **Author's note: Written in alternating Sirius and Hermione POV. First chapter is set in Prisoner of Azkaban from Sirius' POV, the rest picks off in Order of the Phoenix and Half Blood Prince. Eventual romance when Hermione is older, nothing underage, sorry. Warning: will be very dark, not a light romance for the faint-hearted. Expect surprises, deep cutting emotions and action scenes. Harry and Ron are also important parts of this story, so don't think I'm just going to ignore them. They will all play their parts.**

* * *

 **"Sirius, to me, he's kind of on the edge, do you not get that feeling from Sirius? He's a little bit of a loose cannon... But Sirius had his flaws — I've sort of discussed that before — some quite glaring flaws. I see Sirius as someone who was a case of arrested development. I think you see that from his relationship with Harry in "Phoenix." He kind of wants a mate from Harry, and what Harry craves is a father. Harry's kind of outgrowing that now. Sirius wasn't equipped to give him that."**

 **—J.K. Rowling**

 **"I dream of rain, I dream of gardens in the desert sand. I wake in pain, I dream of love as time runs through my hand. This desert rose each of her veils, a secret promise."**

 **-Sting, Desert Rose**

* * *

 **Prologue:**

 **Fate's Warning**

 **1994 Forbidden Forest, Hogwarts perimeter (Prisoner of Azkaban)**

He stood at the edge of the Forbidden forest, in the torn rags of Azkaban still on his emaciated form. Every bone in his body achingly stuck out underneath his clothes, his long hair matted and filthy like a vagabond or madman. Pick or choose one, everybody thought he was either evil or insane as the entire world tried to hunt him down. Sirius Black, the murderer.

There was mass hysteria about his escape.

Posters everywhere of his face. With warnings to report him immediately to the Ministry. That he was extremely dangerous. That he must be caught at once. And stories filled the papers of his supposed crimes, filling the public with mass fear of him. His life hung as tentatively as if by a loose string, dangling before a sea of sharks. Everybody wanted to kill him. If only they knew who they were really after.

But they only got one thing about him right: he was coming to Hogwarts and he was coming for Harry. Nothing could prevent him from getting to his godson and protecting him from the rat crawling in his midst. Only he knew the rat was there. and he couldn't let Harry suffer the consequences.

Nothing could stop him from protecting the boy.

Not even a hundred dementors.

It did not matter that this was in many ways a suicide mission and that Hogwarts was protected by at least a hundred dementors stationed around its grounds. Waiting for him. And that unlike Azkaban, there were no bars preventing the dementors from taking his soul this time.

With one deep breathe, Sirius crossed the threshold of the castle and trespassed some invisible ward dividing the edge of the forest with the castle.

The early night air was silent for a moment, filled with only the sounds of crickets.

Then the dementors, which had been slowly drifting in the air, stilled as they sensed his presence. Their long wispy black cloaks turned in his direction.

Sirius made a run for it. He'd change back into his dog form but he had to have his wand to unlock the secret passageway and it was only a few meters away...

But the dementors wasted no time now that they found their prey.

The dementors swarmed down on him, their cries filling the air with sucking sounds and terrible screeches.

Just before he could reach the entrance to the secret passageway, the dementors blocked his passage.

Sirius stood still for a moment, his heart pounding in his chest, surrounded by Dementors on every side.

The dementors swirled around him like a black cloud.

As they drew closer, their rattling breaths echoed in his ear and filled him with that familiar sensation of ice cold dread. Since his escape from Azkaban, he hoped to never see let alone be so close to a Dementor again but they were everywhere and there was no turning back. _He must pass through. There was no more time to waste._

He tried to concentrate and mutter the incantation for the Patronus charm but was in a cold sweat and already he'd let the dementors get far too close. Against his will, he could feel his mind shutting down into despair as the cold darkness enveloped him. Suddenly it seemed impossible to think of one happy or hopeful thought.

Frantically, Sirius shut his eyes to try to get them out, but their rattling, sucking breaths rang in his ears.

 _Focus, focus, focus._

He tried to focus on his happiest memory of James at Hogwarts, trying to remember that feeling of complete elation and invincibility they had felt as youths. As James and him wandered over Hogwarts under James's invisibility cloak, laughing at their own jokes, and it felt as if nothing could ever harm them under that cloak.

He concentrated on James' laughing face as he said the spell.

 _"Expecto Patronum!"_

Blue flames shot out of the wand in bright short bursts but his patronus failed to appear. Then the flames extinguished completely into darkness.

Before he could try again, his happiest memory of James turned into his worst memory of James. To James' dead face.

"No!" He tried to shut them out, to say the spell again, but it was useless. The dementors were already in his mind.

Without any control, Sirius covered his ears as he felt the worst memories of his life replay in his mind with painful realism, as if he were reliving them all at the same time.

 _~Lily and James were dead. ~The sorting hat placed him in Gryffindor instead of Slytherin.~ His father was beating him up for what must be the 1000th time, and he was bleeding on the floor while Walburga shouted at him to clean it up. His mother screaming at him that he was an abomination.~His face red as Bellatrix humiliated him in front of the Slytherins after his family disowned him.~Peter betrayed them. Everyone was after him. But he was looking for Dorcas.~ They sentenced him to life in Azkaban. Perpetual darkness. ~The constant cold of the dementors. Living nightmares. He was breaking his body against the bars of his cell, breaking and dislocating his bones, to try to squeeze through. ~Dorcas' last words were 'I wish I had never met you' and then Antonin, what Antonin did-_

For a moment, the despair cut him so deep, in a familiar place that never healed, he flinched backwards and almost dropped his wand.

 _Drop his wand and let go._

It's what the dementors wanted. It's what they always wanted as they sang their siren's song to destruction.

 _Just let go, Sirius. You don't need your soul._

 _Just let go. What has having a heart ever cost you but grief?_

 _We know your sorrow._

They were right weren't they? There would never be any peace or hope or happy ending for him. Even if he got away, he still wouldn't be free. He'd still remember. He would always remember.

He'd be lying if he said he didn't want to end it many times, after he had the blood and shit drawn out of him for twelve years. The human soul could only take so much pain and constant torture before it started looking for the exit.

But no matter how much he longed to rest, each time he felt the light fade out of him, he remembered two things: Peter Pettigrew and Harry Potter.

He could not die until he did his duty by them.

Like a ghost cannot leave the place he haunts, he had to stay on earth for two things. To kill Peter Pettigrew. And to protect Harry. He made a promise to James Potter that he would protect his son. They were his last words to him before James, Lily and Dorcas were murdered on the same night. His promise to James and his vow to revenge their murders is what kept him every time from giving into the dementors and death.

Though death could be so tempting.

It was a commonly known fact that there a better world waited on the other side. Another world where Dorcas, Lily and James went to, but he had been forced to stay behind.

Time and time again, he had been pulled back from near death, insanity and the dementor's kiss. He was the only in the history of the world to escape from Azkaban and with his sanity. If he survived the Dementors a thousand times in Azkaban, he could survive them now.

Sirius looked at the Dementor currently trying to suck the life out of him.

Even as he looked into its empty eye sockets and rotten flesh, all fear had gone from him.

He knew this demon could not harm him. It could not take his soul though it tried like a vacuum to get it out of him.

Fate was protecting his survival, he knew that now.

Fate was a fickle bitch that did not want to let Sirius Black go.

Her magic bound his soul to the earth by many strings and held him by his unfulfilled vows.

She would not let the Dementor take his soul.

'You cannot leave here Sirius Black until you have fulfilled your tasks,' Fate growled warningly in his ear.

Fate held the glowing white orb of his soul in her bony hands where the Dementors could not snatch it. Sirius narrowed his eyes at it. There were three fine strings tying his soul like a balloon to her hand so it didn't fly away.

"I know. But when I am done, I will finally rest in peace," he said with longing for the moment when he could reunite with Dorcas on the other side.

Fates laughed wickedly in his face. 'When you die Sirius Black, you will no longer want to. And it certainly will not be by choice.'

'It will always be my choice! I have freewill,' he shouted madly, despite knowing full well that Fate had far more power than a mere mortal like himself.

Fate lowered her voice and whispered hauntingly in his ear, 'Wait a little longer, Sirius Black. Something is waiting for you that will make you never want to leave earth,' she chuckled, 'Only then will I allow you to die.'

Damn her and her infernal games.

He would almost try to die now to spite Fate, to prove her wrong and laugh at her face, but it was impossible.

His love for the dead keeps him alive. He could not rejoin James, Lily and Dorcas until he fulfilled his vows to them or died attempting to fulfill them.

As the dementor's hollow face drew closer to his face, the black void of its mouth ready to suck out his soul, he thought of his love for James and Dorcas, and uttered 'Expecto Patronum!'

A blast of bright blue light emitted from his wand and in an instant his patronus banished the dementors to their dark recesses.

Barely taking a breath, Sirius hurried inside the tunnel into the castle.

He must protect Harry and kill the rat crawling in his midst.

He barely paused to notice that the first patronus he conjured in over 12 years without a wand had changed forms. It was now an otter.

* * *

He felt so close, so incredibly close to fulfilling his tasks that his whole being bristled with new life despite his physical weariness.

When he finally met his godson, Sirius genuinely smiled for the first time in a decade.

He expected to care for Harry, to want to protect him, but he wasn't prepared for the sweeping love he instantly felt for the boy.

It almost was like having James back.

 _Almost._

It almost compensated for not killing Pettigrew when they had the chance. A chance he waited 12 years for. If Harry had not shown mercy to that worthless vermin, he would have fulfilled both his tasks in one night and been free to rest. Instead he gave in to Harry's wish to not to see Remus and he become murderers.

Perhaps it was because he was feeling so close to fulfiiling his tasks, that he started to become careless.

But he complied to Harry's request because he thought Azkaban and the Dementor's kiss for Peter would suffice as fulfillment of his revenge...death being the quicker and easier alternative.

He did not forsee that Peter would escape within the hour as Remus turned into a werewolf and he was forced to defend Harry and his friends against him.

He did not forsee that his mistake in judgment would again see Peter betray them again, and help bring Voldemort back from the dead. No, he was not counting on these things.

For now his tasks had become nearly impossible and there was no possibility he could ever rest while Voldemort was alive.

.

.

.

A/N: This story is currently being rewritten in third person past tense, so that is why there used to be more chapters. Thanks I will try to rewrite the first 14 chapters as quickly as possible but it's not always easy to change something from first person present tense to another tense, but I'm doing my best. Would love and appreciate to hear your thoughts! (and spot any of my errors where I left 'I'/'my' instead of he/his)


	2. Arrival at Grimmauld Place

**Chapter 1:**

 **Arrival at Grimmauld Place**

* * *

 **August 1995, 12 Grimmauld Place, London**

Hermione stepped into Grimmauld Place for the first time, with Harry a few steps ahead of her. She held her small suitcase in her hands but her eyes immediately fell to the man walking down the hallway towards them.

Nearly two years had passed since she last saw Sirius Black.

Except for visits in the fireplace where his face spoke from among the burning ashes, she hadn't seen Sirius since that day she and Harry used the time turner to save his and Buckbeak's life, a day they cheated fate.

Now she could hardly recognize him. He didn't appear to be the same man. Or perhaps this was the first time she saw what Sirius actually looked like when he wasn't covered in his own filth, his skin blackened with dirt and his features marred by soot.

No longer was he a shadow of a man with threadbare clothes and a gaunt face, so thin that he looked a step away from death.

Sirius had gained weight, and strength, and wore fine robes that fit his tall frame and showed he still had life and vigour in him. The hair that she remembered as being a long matted mess was now a proud mane of wavy black hair. Only his grey eyes were the same. They were as striking as she remembered but now the rest of his face matched their aristocratic beauty.

It was hard to believe this was Harry's godfather, the same man who had escaped Azkaban in torn rags as he screamed vows of vengeance and sounded like a madman before they really understood who he was.

Yet it was him. His barking laughter could fill a room as quickly and completely as his bad temper and mood could clear a room. He was a mix of ups and downs. His grey eyes forlorn one moment before they flickered the next moment with amusement.

 _"How dare they enter the house of my fathers, stains of dishonour, filthy half-breeds, blood traitors, children of filth!"_

"I said -shut- UP!" Sirius roared with hatred at his mother's portrait.

For a moment, Hermione felt almost scared by the level of hatred Sirius had towards the portrait but then he turned to them and his face softened into a gentle smile.

"Harry, you made it!" Sirius clasped Harry into a hug.

It hurt Hermione a little that Sirius only had eyes for Harry, as if it were only his godson that rescued his life that day.

But she stood awkwardly to the side, holding her bags, while Harry and Sirius talked very rapidly to each other. Harry's face wide with joy to be reunited with his godfather.

A minute, or perhaps only thirty seconds, passed before Sirius even seemed to remember she was there and greeted her.

"Hermione!" Sirius half-smiled at her, though she knew that his happiness came from seeing Harry rather than her, "Good to see you. How're things?"

He extended his hand to shake hers. She shook his hand numbly, surprised that he was made of flesh and blood when the last time she saw him he looked so close to death.

"Good, I mean it's good to see you again Sirius," she said awkwardly because she was still not used to seeing his face, especially up close as his grey eyes looked into hers. "Thank you for letting me stay here."

Sirius grinned. "Well, we couldn't have Ron and Harry here without you, could we?"

Of course, she thought, I'm the missing piece of the Golden trio and nothing more. I should be used to this by now. Yet it bothered her every once in awhile that other people saw her primarily as Harry Potter's friend. Not an independent person with her own thoughts and feelings. At Hogwarts, she practically went around with a sign on her forehead that said 'Harry Potter's brainy sidekick'.

Harry and Sirius started chattering away again, barely including her in the conversation.

She knew they didn't do it on purpose but had so much to say to each other to catch up. She could tell that Harry could barely contain his enthusiasm to speak to his godfather.

Clearly, she was not wanted or needed here so she excused herself from the room and left Harry alone with his godfather.

In the kitchen, she was bombarded by hugs from Molly and the Weasley twins. The twins seemed to think it was funny to pretend they'd been desperately missing her and to give her as many hugs as possible before Molly told them off.

"Boys cut it out!" Molly shouted as they tried to hug Hermione yet again.

"But Mum, we haven't seen her for five whole weeks!" Fred said with mock grief.

They both had their arms wrapped around Hermione in a headlock like she was some animal they didn't want to let escape.

"Guys I can't breathe!" she gasped, only half-lying.

"You heard her! Now get off before you smother the poor girl to death!" Molly said, forcibly wrenching the twins off her.

Just as Hermione was freed from the Weasley twin's arms, someone gave her another hug from behind and she turned around to see Ron.

"Ron!" she said and excitedly wrapped her arms around him so that now the red-head lanky teen couldn't leave her. She had sorely missed her other best friend since the end of June.

"Hey, Hermione," Ron said, a bit abashedly. If she looked closely, she would almost say he was blushing, but she shoved the thought aside.

"Ooooohhh!" George cooed loudly, "Did Ronniekins miss his best friend in the whole world?"

"I don't remember him giving Harry a hug like that," Fred said conspiritally with his hand covering his mouth as if he was only just whispering this, which he was not.

Uh-oh. A bit of colour rose in Ron's cheeks but, thankfully, it was not very visible.

"Oh shove off, you two hugged her and she didn't even want you to!" Ron scowled at his brothers.

Fred and George both let out exaggerated gasps of shock, "What are you saying? That Hermione likes your hugs but not ours? Now why would that be?"

"Guys, calm down," Hermione said because she wanted to switch the topic, "I appreciate all your hugs equally but if someone tries to give me another hug, I'm going to punch him because I'm starting to feel like a piece of tenderized meat."

The twins laughed and Ron smiled as he told the twins, "She's not kidding! Hermione has a mean left hook, you should have seen what she did to Malfoy's face!"

Ron proudly told them about the time she punched Draco with her bare fist in third year. Ron must have told this story a thousand times because it was his favourite story of her. Perhaps because Ron hated Draco so much or perhaps Ron just felt proud of her for punching Draco. Either way it made her smile. She couldn't deny she felt proud to be the only one to have properly put Draco in his place.

Of course, Harry never told this story. Though she bet Sirius would be impressed... if he stopped talking about Harry or the Marauders long enough to listen.

She feel a slight twinge of sadness.

"Hermione, dear!" Molly's voice interrupted her thoughts, "You've barely eaten anything!" Her maternal gaze thoroughly examined her face, "Oh you poor thing, I've just noticed now how tired you look. You haven't got any colour in your face!"

No, Hermione thought bitingly, that is just my natural complexion. Pale, pasty and completely plain.

"Do you want me to show you up to your room?"

"Thanks Molly, I am feeling a little tired after the trip. I should probably unpack my things."

She was not actually that tired, or interested in unpacking her things, still she wanted to see her room and be alone for a few minutes.

Molly chattered away about a million different things as she led her upstairs to the bedroom where she'd be staying for the rest of the summer. Hermione tried to sound excited as Molly described her plans for the summer, but she couldn't help thinking, Four more weeks, four more weeks before I'm finally back at Hogwarts. It was not that she hated summer but she never felt like herself outside of school. Plus, her enthusiasm wasn't helped by the fact that Voldemort was back from the dead and plotting to kill them all.

Ron trailed behind them and gave Hermione a sympathetic smile each time Molly complained about another disgusting dark object she found in Sirius Black's house...Poor sweet Ron, had been in this frightening house the whole summer. The house hadn't been inhabited for over a decade when both Sirius and the Weasleys reopened it in June, so that it could be the headquarters of the reestablished Order of the Phoenix.

Hermione had about a million questions about the Order but Molly evasively ignored her questions while switching the topic back to dust and chores...and wouldn't you know it, more chores. Molly made her promise that she would help clean the rest of the house, starting tomorrow. Hermione nodded because, really, what choice did she have?

When Molly at last left, Hermione and Ron sat on the bed as he tried to get her up to date with everything that happened at Grimmauld Place. The Weasley clan had been at Grimmauld Place the whole summer because both his parents were trusted members of the Order, Molly's brothers having fought in the first war.

"I wonder why Dumbledore chose this place as headquarters for the Order," Hermione said. She looked around the dimly lit bedroom with its high, dark green walls and furniture carved with serpent-motifs. One of the chairs in the corner actually had iron clasps on the arms, like it was used to torture people. Everything in the house looked medieval, and slightly malevolent. Especially the shrunken house-elf's she'd seen mounted on a plaque by the hallway.

"I dunno but Sirius offered it to him. It's supposed to be one of the safest locations possible because it's unplottable, or something like that."

"Yes," Hermione laughed dryly, "I get the feeling that Sirius' family didn't like having intruders, or even neighbours, if his mother's portrait is anything to go by. Still it's too bad that Dumbledore didn't choose a less gloomy place for headquarters."

"You should have seen it before!" Ron exclaimed with raised eyebrows, "It was ten times worse when we first arrived, Mum and dad made us swear we wouldn't touch anything in case it might be cursed."

"I suppose the Black family had a lot of dark objects to hide." She hugged her knees to her chest, glad that at least Ron was here to make things less gloomy.

"You can say that again. I've never seen so much dark rubbish as I have here. And Sirius's mum and Kreacher are always muttering hateful crap. They'd like nothing better than to murder us all in our sleep."

"Don't say that," she said quickly and shook her head, "I can't stand the thought of anyone dieing or getting hurt."

"What? C'mon it's true. Luckily, one house-elf and a painting can't commit murder."

The bad feeling in her stomach deepened. Since Voldemort's return, she felt uneasy whenever the word 'kill' or 'die' was casually used in conversation. Death wasn't something she'd joke about anymore.

Ever since Voldemort murdered Cedric Diggory and Harry narrowly escaped the same fate, death felt much too real and omnipotent. Like death waited with his scythe and black robes around every corner, watching, just waiting for them to make one wrong move.

"It's absolutely bonkers...It kind of makes me feel bad for the guy," Ron's voice trailed off and she realized she hadn't been listening.

"What were you saying about Sirius?"

"That he's a miserable sod."

"I suppose I understand him," she said, "He was locked up in Azkaban for twelve years and now that he's escaped, he has to stay locked up here. He's just moved from one prison to another."

"Well, he could try to be less miserable!"

She can't help but sigh. If everybody were as simple and good-hearted as Ron, the world would be a lot less complicated.

"I'm sure he tries, Ron. He seemed pretty happy today when he saw Harry."

She remembered how his grey eyes looked at Harry.

"Yeah, well Harry is just about all he cares about," Ron grumbled, "And the Order. Tho' he spends most of his time being angry that he's not allowed to do more-"

"Oh bloody hell!"

Hermione almost jumped out of her skin as the twins suddenly apparated into the room with two loud ear-bursting pops.

George apparated directly beside her while Fred landed heavily on top of Ron's lap. But Ron apparently was used to the twins apparating out of thin air and he was angry rather than surprised as he shoved Fred off him.

"Quit apparating you dolts!" Ron scowled, "You're supposed to knock on the door first."

"Oops, were we interrupting anything?" Fred asked suggestively.

"Sorry little bro, we had no idea you and Hermione would be alone in bed," George smirked.

"We were just talking," Hermione said coldly, "But thanks for nearly giving me a heart attack!" She'd already been on edge without the twin's help.

"No problem, Herms," George said.

"Please don't call me Herms."

"O-kay, Her-my-own," George enunciated each syllable with exaggeration.

"Would you just get out?!" Ron shouted, his temper flaring, "We were trying to have a private conversation before you nosy gits interrupted!"

Fred looked at George blankly before they both sniggered. "I think they want their privacy, if you know what I mean."

"Say no more, say no more!" George laughed before whispering something in Fred's ear. They both laughed giddily and continued whispering as if Ron and her weren't there. Hermione groaned loudly in anger.

Four more weeks, she thought, four more weeks.

~/~

By some miracle, Fred, George and Ron eventually left her room and she took a nap. The trip from her parent's house in the east coast to London had worn her out more than expected. She awoke an hour later to the sound of light knocking on my door.

"Hermione are you coming down to dinner? Mum wants to know if we should set another plate for you," Ron's voice spoke through the door.

"Yes! I'll be down in a minute. Don't wait up for me."

"O-kay. I'll wait for you downstairs."

She changed into fresh clothes, throwing on a pair of jeans and a beige shirt, and was about to step out of room when she caught sight of her reflection. Suddenly she stopped and breathed a heavy sigh as she stared at her reflection in disappointment.

 _No wonder I'm treated as invisible at school, I'm completely plain._

Her skin was colourless, her features average at best and both her hair and eyes were forgettable shades of brown. The fact that she possessed no figure or curves to speak of, did not help.

It was true she could use magic to permanently alter her appearance. She was clever enough to know how to make herself as beautiful as a Veela. Yet everyone would know, including Ron and Harry, and somehow she doesn't think she'd want so much attention anyways. She already felt weird enough when people stared at her, often because she was with the boy-who-lived. It would be even weirder to have people staring at her nonstop because she was so beautiful. And it would probably distract her from her studies.

So she sighed again and pulled her bushy brown hair into a ponytail. _There, that will have to do for now._

 _Looks don't matter to me anyways,_ she told the mirror. Her reflection looked back at her skeptically. But she turned away and made her way down the creaking stairs.

~/~

"Hermione!" Harry said with a smile and she couldn't help smiling back at him. Harry looked so happy to be at Grimmauld Place after being miserable and out of the loop at the Dursleys. Harry sat with Sirius on one side of him and Ron on the other side. Ginny and the twins sat on the other half of the long wood table with Lupin and Arthur Weasley at opposite ends.

The smell of Molly Weasley's home cooking wafted pleasantly through the air.

Hermione greeted everyone politely before taking the empty seat beside Ginny who was twirling her long red hair around a finger.

"We haven't seen you all day," Ginny hissed, pausing from playing with her hair, "Where have you been?"

"Yeah, where have you been hiding Hermione?" George chimed in beside his sister, while his mouth was still full of food.

"I wasn't hiding, I just went to take an undisturbed," she glared at the twins, "nap."

"You're so boring Hermione." Ginny rolled her eyes.

"Thanks Ginny. But I'm wide awake now," Hermione said, not adding 'sorry I can't be a flamy haired firecracker like you'.

"Good! Because I have a lot to catch you up on," Ginny said before lowering her voice into a whisper and excitedly telling her about the argument Harry and Sirius had with Molly. "So Dumbledore strictly forbid any of the Order members from disclosing information to Harry. Mum and Lupin agreed saying Harry's too young to be in the Order. But Harry and Sirius were having none of that!"

Ginny paused to look over at Harry and Sirius before she laughed loudly again.

Ginny had a tinkering laugh that made everyone in the room pause and look at her.

For the first time, Hermione felt a bit envious of Ginny. Ginny had come a long way since first year. She was no longer shy and she'd become alarmingly pretty with long legs and big blue eyes.

"-So Harry said he wasn't a child anymore and Sirius backed him up, saying he was going to tell Harry everything. You can imagine how much my mum liked that, she screeched her head off!"

"But what did Sirius tell him?" Hermione asked impatiently.

She was on the edge of her seat to know what had been going on in the Order.

"How am I supposed to know? Mum chucked us out, saying we were too young to hear. Only Harry and the adults stayed behind," Ginny started to play with her hair again, "And Harry refuses to say a word now."

"He's going to have to tell me!" Hermione looked over at Harry and Sirius who are chatting away quietly at the other end.

"That's what I hoped you'd say! Then you can tell me after." Ginny smiled cheekily.

"I'll try," Hermione said, because she isn't sure Ginny should be trusted with important state secrets.

Ginny seemed to think of everything like a joke, or maybe that was her way of coping. Didn't she remember that Cedric Diggory's funeral was barely two months ago? Didn't she understand how serious the situation was? If Dumbledore reconvened the Order, it could only mean one thing: war was ahead. And it wouldn't be just Harry's life on the line anymore, no. All of their lives would be in danger.

There was nothing the slightest bit funny about that.

She looked over at Harry again but caught Sirius' eye instead. His face was humourless and he looked vastly older now that he was not smiling. He regarded her tiredly for a moment before turning back to Harry.

Hermione expected they must be having a serious conversation. But a moment later Sirius and Harry were laughing loudly. Suddenly she felt inexplicably angry.

~/~

As soon as dinner was over, she caught Harry alone out in the hallway.

She had to know what Sirius told him about the Order.

"Hermione I can't tell you!" Harry said with agitation, as if she were pushing him for something.

"Are we or are we not best friends, Harry? You've never kept secrets from me before. I could use the information to help you, like I always do-"

"Hermione it's not my fault. When I say I can't tell you, I mean I literally CAN'T TELL YOU!"

Harry ruffled his already messy hair, his frustration obvious in his body and facial movements.

"The Order put a Tongue-Tying spell on me. If I try to tell you or Ron anything, I literally become tongue tied!"

Hermione grimaced at the thought of Harry's tongue tying itself into a knot but she also felt somewhat relieved that he was not intentionally trying to keep secrets from her.

"Wait, what if you try writing what they told you?"

"I hadn't thought of that." Harry said with the hint of a smile starting on his face, "Let's go try it now."

They hurried up to Harry's room and Harry grabbed a quill and parchment. But she knew what was going to happen even before he tried. Harry could write his name or any other thing. Yet as soon as he tried to write even a hint of information about the Order, his hand would stop writing and freeze. Hermione grimaced and so did Harry.

"I can't believe they used a dirty spell like that on you!"

"Hermione, they weren't supposed to tell me anything! If it weren't for Sirius standing up for me, I would've been told nothing...It's Dumbledore's orders."

A wave of anger rushed through her. Dumbledore had been keeping Harry in the dark for far too long. It did not even seem to make sense why Dumbledore wanted things to be this way. Harry had a right to know what was going on after he almost died at the Triwizard Tournament. But it seemed everyone, including the media, was set on keeping silent about Voldemort's return.

"It's alright Harry. We'll figure this out, we always do," she said to try to reassure him.

Truthfully, she felt less confident than ever that they could figure things out.

If Dumbledore and the Order kept stuff hidden from them, she didn't see what chance she, Ron and Harry had of keeping a step ahead of the Death Eaters and Voldemort.

.

.

.

A/N: Thanks for reading, drop me a review if you can and let me know what you think. Even a negative review to help me improve.


	3. House of Black

**Chapter 2:**

 **Welcome to the House of Black  
**

* * *

Harry and Hermione were going to arrive any minute.

Sirius paced the floor of the front parlour, an untouched glass of firewhiskey in one hand and his restless thoughts on the other.

His eyes kept drifting to the clock on the mantlepiece as he counted down the seconds to their arrival.

With the Order, everything was timed and precise, so that you knew if anything went wrong.

Mad-Eye, Remus, Tonks, Kingsley and several other aurors had gone to escort Harry and Hermione from their respective homes to Grimmauld Place, so no Death Eaters tailed them. Sirius wanted to go but, of course, he was not allowed.

'Sorry Sirius, you could come along as a dog,' Mad-Eye had grunted, 'but it would be an extra liability, 'sides which it would appear odd to have a dog tagging along.'

Sirius told him he understood but as soon as they left, he threw a fit and smashed a few things that were left lying around.

He couldn't stand being locked in this house all the time. Though lately it seemed that was all everyone told him, 'stay behind',and he began to doubt the wisdom of his plan when he gave Grimmauld Place as headquarters for the Order.

At the time, it seemed like the perfect way to keep part of the Order and to have a place where Harry could visit him. It had not been easy staying in a cave so that he could be near Harry at Hogwarts, yet he never would have returned to Grimmauld Place unless it were for the Order. The Order was the only real chance he had of keeping track of Voldemort and Pettigrew.

Though he sometimes suspected Dumbledore of deliberately hiding things from him to hinder his progress. Damn meddling bastard.

He clenched his fist but then breathed heavily out to calm himself. For the thousandth time today, he tried to focus on the present and stay in the right frame of mind. _Harry is safe for now. Harry will be arriving soon and it's best he doesn't find his godfather a brooding miserable asshole._ Even if that's probably how he'd been most of the time the Weasleys were here. Yet he had to put in an effort now that Harry was arriving. Merlin's sake, he'd even put an effort into dressing himself today. Though a part of him wanted to rip off the elegant wizard robes as soon as he saw himself in the mirror and realized he looked exactly like his father. That pompous prick. But it was too late to change now.

He heard the front door creak open and muffled voices began to trail in. Everyone had to be quiet when they entered the house so they wouldn't wake his mother's portrait, that charming harpy from his childhood.

But a loud clang broke the silence followed by Tonk's swearing. As if on cue, his mother's portrait began to screech her head off and the usual filthy words came out of her mouth.

Sirius rushed towards the entrance hall to the source of the commotion. The last thing he wanted was his godson to be greeted by that harpy's insults.

 _"Filth! Scum! By-products of dirt and vileness. Half-breeds, mutants, freaks, begone from this place! How dare you befoul the house of my fathers-"_

"Shut up, you horrible old hag, shut UP!" he yelled at the portrait.

His mother's wrinkled eyes bulged at the sight of her forsaken son. "Youuuu! You blood traitor, abomination, shame of my flesh!" her screeches grew louder.

"I said -shut - UP!" he screamed over her as he forcibly closed the curtains over the wretched painting. He flicked his wand at the gaslights in the hall so that they burned brighter and he could see the faces of his new arrivals.

"Harry, you made it!"

Harry looked so much like his father now that without thinking of what he was doing, Sirius clasped him into a hug. Because it was like seeing James again.

"How was your trip here?"

"A bit unnerving but good," Harry spoke quickly and out of breathe in his excitement, "No death eaters. And we got to broomstick ride through London."

"That's brilliant," Sirius said and tried to smile though it pained him that he couldn't be there to taste the fresh air.

"Yeah, it was. Hey, did you hear about my ministry Hearing?"

"Yes, it's absolute rubbish! The Ministry should be congratulating you for fending off the Dementors by yourself, not trying to expel you for it," he paused, "Though it'd be asking rather a lot from a group too thick to even notice Voldemort's back!"

Harry's happy smile faltered and Sirius realized his godson was suffering more than he let on. "That's what I don't understand Sirius, why haven't any of the papers or Ministry accepted Voldemort's back?"

"Didn't Dumbledore inform you?" Sirius demanded angrily though he already knew the answer. Dumbledore never told anyone anything unless he absolutely had to...and even then it was struggle to get answers out of him.

"No!" Harry said, "Hermione told me that she and Ron were warned not to tell me anything important in their letters in case the owls were intercepted."

 _Hermione._

Sirius immediately turned around and realized she was standing there awkwardly with a small suitcase in her hand.

"Hermione!" he said quickly, embarrassed that he forgot to greet her, "Good to see you. How are things?"

He extended a hand to shake hers and noticed that except for being taller, she looked about the same as he remembered, give and take a few details. She had the same bushy brown hair, brown eyes, and the awkward way she had of speaking while moving her eyebrows around a lot and frowning too much for someone of her age.

"Good, I mean it's good to see you again Sirius," she said in a small voice and squirmed under his gaze, "Thank you for letting me stay here."

He was surprised by how uncomfortable she seemed. He didn't remember Hermione being shy.

"Well, we couldn't have Ron and Harry here without you, could we?" He smiled to put her at ease and turned to Harry so that he could agree with him. "Wouldn't be much of a Golden Trio without her, would it Harry?"

He expected Hermione to beam with pride at being reminded that she was part of something greater than herself, a golden trio that could accomplish much more together than they ever could apart as individuals...just as he had been proud to be part of the Marauders...but she looked as if he'd just insulted her.

He was about to ask her if she is alright when Harry interrupted him.

"Sirius! I have to know what Voldemort's been up to. No one's told me anything and I can't stand it any longer, I've been waiting the whole summer!"

There was an urgency in Harry's voice that said he would explode if he heard 'no' one more time. Sirius put a hand on Harry's shoulder to calm him, "Of course I will, but we'll need to talk to the other Order members first. The meeting finished before you arrived and there won't be another meeting for another few days but between Arthur, Lupin and me we can lift the ban-"

"What ban?"

"The secrecy ban is a protective spell so no one single member can betray the Order of the Pheonix's secrets to non-members. But we only need three Order members to lift the ban so you can hear everything I'm going to tell you."

He led him towards the dining room.

He expected Hermione to follow them and demand to be made an honourary member too. But she slipped off without a word. He felt surprised again. Whatever happened to the crazy girl who helped rescue him and Buckbeak in her third year? He thought Hermione would be the first to demand to know the Order's secrets. Instead she just disappeared out of the room like a flighty bird. It was rather odd. He reminded himself to ask Harry later if everything was alright with his friend.

~/~

Sirius had never gotten along well with Molly Weasley, not the first time around in the Order and certainly not now that the she'd had a gaggle of kids and thought she could be Dumbledore's mouthpiece in his absence. Her imperious attitude had only worsened with age.

Lupin and Arthur Weasley had barely spoken a word either for or against the argument and had let Molly steamroll over him. Bloody cowards. They had no trouble facing death eaters but when it came to the Weasley matriarch, the two men would rather keep their mouths shut. The kids also watched intently from the side as if they are watching an intense football match between their mother and Sirius. Everyone was there except Hermione.

"Harry needs and wants to know what's been going on, and that's the end of it," Sirius said as he slammed down his hand on the table.

Molly's bloated red face stared at him venomously. "That's not up for you to decide, Sirius! Dumbledore clearly said we were not to tell Harry more than he needs to know."

"I'm perfectly aware of what Dumbledore said, Molly, thanks." Sirius rolled his eyes. "I don't plan on telling Harry more than he needs to know."

"If you actually respected what Dumbledore said," Molly's voice grew irritatingly loud and he could see spittle fly out of her mouth, "You would wait until we got his approval before attempting to lift the ban!"

He was beginning to lose my patience for this insufferable woman but he said as patiently as possible "The whole point of the secrecy ban is that we only need three people to lift it, so we don't _have_ to wait for Dumbledore."

"You are not in charge here, Sirius," Molly yelled, "This may be your house but it is not up to you to decide what's best for Harry-"

"I'm his godfather! It's my duty to look after him!" His voice raised. Nothing could stop him from protecting the boy and trying to do what's best for him.

"Yes," a horrible smile stretched Molly's face, "that's true, Sirius, only you couldn't look after him very well while in Azkaban, could you?"

He felt sick to his stomach. If Molly wanted to hurt him, she just did. She might as well have stuck a dagger to his heart.

"Molly, that isn't fair and you know it," Lupin said quickly, knowing that his friend's temper was about to burst, "Sirius suffered a great deal in Azkaban and you shouldn't fault him for it."

"My apologies," Molly simpered without an ounce of remorse in her voice, "I just don't take it lightly that Sirius thinks he can waltz into Harry's life now and know what's best for Harry. Harry's only a boy afterall and needs responsible guidance."

"I'm not a child!" Harry yelled, "I need to know what's been going on!"

Molly looked taken aback by the level of Harry's anger.

"The Order doesn't accept members below the age of majority," Remus said quietly, "and you're only 16, Harry, so technically you are still a child."

"This is complete bollocks, Harry's seen much more than many adults," Sirius growled.

"That doesn't change the fact that he's still not an adult!" Molly shouted again, "No matter what Harry's seen, he's a child and needs to be protected. At least I realize that, whereas I think you confuse Harry with James!"

"Molly, cut it out," Arthur finally said but it was too late. The words had already been spoken.

Sirius stared at Molly as if he'd never seen anything so vile.

 _Vile, vile, vile._

Only a vile mind could use his love for James and his time in Azkaban as rebukes against him. To reduce 12 years spent wrongfully convicted in prison as a cheap excuse to insult him and his forced absence from Harry's life. As if he had any choice to not be there. Then again, Sirius thought, he should have expected dirty tactics from the same woman who got pregnant to trap Arthur Weasley into a loveless marriage. Something he never stooped so low as to repeat to anyone. Molly's sort of tactics were beneath him.

He stood up from his chair. "I AM TRYING TO PROTECT HARRY AND I'LL BE DAMNED IF I'M GOING TO LET HIM REMAIN IGNORANT OF WHAT VOLDEMORT IS UP TO WHILE HIS LIFE IS ON THE LINE! IN CASE YOU HAVE TROUBLE REMEMBERING, MOLLY, HARRY WAS THE ONE WHO SAW VOLDEMORT COME BACK FROM THE DEAD AND TRY TO KILL HIM, SO I WOULD SAY HE HAS A RIGHT TO KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON RIGHT NOW, NOT TOMORROW, NOT THE DAY AFTER, NOT WHEN DUMBLEDORE COMES BACK BUT RIGHT NOW!"

"Sirius, would you please lower your voice," Lupin tugged at the sleeve of his robes, "and sit down."

Sirius grey eyes softened as he looked back down at his friend pulling at his sleeve. When they both were at Hogwarts, Remus often tried to stop Sirius when he was getting ahead of himself and getting himself in more trouble. Despite the passage of years, Remus was still the same damnably calm presence, it was almost irritating.

Sirius sat back down.

Remus turned back to Molly who's face was red and more blotchy than ever. His voice was controlled and even, "Sirius does have a point Molly. Harry has been through a lot since the Tournament, he shouldn't have to wait any longer for answers. It's wrong to leave him ignorant and we can easily lift the Ban."

"We can tell him the bare necessities, dear," Arthur Weasley said while patting his wife's chubby hand, "Dumbledore can't disagree with that."

"Fine," Molly hissed while staring daggers at Sirius, "I see my and Albus' opinion is not going to be respected. Well on your own heads be it, but I'm not going to disobey Albus and help you lift the secrecy ban."

She turned to leave and Sirius sighed in relief. Finally.

"C'mon kids," Molly ordered sharply, "Ginny, Ron, Fred, George, you're leaving right now. Off to bed."

All hell broke loose as Ginny, Ron and the twins protested that they wanted to stay and listen too.

"Fred and I are 17 we're old enough to be in the Order!" the twins hollered, followed by Ron and Ginny's loud complaints.

"Mum, this isn't fair!"

"Harry's my best mate, I have to stay!"

Despite a huge amount of opposition, Molly managed to eventually take her brats out of the room with her. So finally it was just Harry, Lupin, Arthur and Sirius around the table. For Harry's sake, Sirius tried to pretend that the past half hour of Molly insulting him didn't just happen.

~/~

For the next hour, they told Harry everything they could tell him without compromising either his or the Order's safety.

They told him how Voldemort was hiding his presence, keeping a low profile while his followers lurked in the shadows in increasing numbers to do his bidding in Britain and abroad. They informed Harry about the deliberate media blackout of any mention of Voldemort meanwhile the papers regularly published lies about Harry and Dumbledore to discredit them. They gave Harry hints about Voldemort's secret weapon without giving too much away. They told Harry as much as they could about Voldemort's infiltration of the media and ministry without naming names or who's who that might give Harry the wrong idea and try to get vigilante justice.

"But what does Voldemort want?!" Harry finally said in frustration, "Why hasn't he come back to kill me?"

"Harry, don't you see?" Sirius said almost impatiently, "This isn't about just you this time, Voldemort wants to wage a full war. Against the ministry, against the muggle world and the wizarding world. That's why he's taking his time, he wants to take down everything."

Harry was shocked into silenced.

"He's assembling a whole army, Harry. It's no longer going to be just him and a few Death Eaters this time around."

"What about the Order?" Harry asked, "Can't you stop him?"

"I'm afraid we don't have numbers anywhere near those of Voldemort's," Lupin said and shook his head sadly, "With the way the Ministry is behaving, I'm afraid it's just us against Voldemort for now."

"This is complete bollocks! We have to put a stop to Voldemort before he gets any stronger!" Harry shouted at them.

"I know." Sirius felt numb as he said the words, as if he were admitting defeat. Yet he would be lying to both himself and Harry if he tried to sound more optimistic.

And he knew that Harry needed to hear the truth because he knew exactly what Harry was feeling. It was the same feeling he woke with everyday, knowing that Voldemort went from strength to strength, meanwhile the Order tried to scurry after him and he could do fuck all to help them.

"Harry, you cannot repeat anything we've told you here," Arthur said, breaking the tension in the room.

"...I won't," Harry said with hesistation and Sirius knew at once that his godson was lieing. Of course, Harry would want to tell each detail to Ron, and Hermione.

They would be counting on him, as his best friends.

"Don't worry, Harry, you won't be able to even if you try," Sirius said with an apologetic smile.

"What d'you mean?"

"Should I tell him?" Arthur asked meekly.

"Not just yet, Arthur. Let him figure it out on his own. It'll be worth a laugh," Sirius said grimly. Though he felt far past laughter.

~/~

The excitement Sirius felt of welcoming Harry to Grimmauld Place and letting him in on the Order's secrets had worn thin. No small thanks to Molly Weasley's attempts to humiliate him in front of everyone and depict him as a raving madman. Everyone was there to witness her humiliating insults, except Hermione. Though it looked like Ginny was filling her in right now. He tried to ignore them though it is obvious that they were speaking of him. Ginny kept glancing over at him and laughing loudly. The damn red-headed chit was a junior version of her mother. Hermione looked more solemn but she still drank in every poisoned word Ginny must be saying to her. Harry sat at his side. The boy was still going on about what we told him about the Order and Voldemort.

Sirius was beginning to wonder if it was such a good idea to tell him as much as they did.

Now that Harry knew a bit, it had only fed his curiosity to know everything. The boy kept going over each detail they told him and asking more questions to try to trick him into revealing things he shouldn't. But when Harry began to ask about the Order's secret weapon, Sirius drew the line.

"Harry, would you quit trying to trip me up! I've already told you more than enough."

"I don't get it," Harry said accusingly, "I thought you wanted me to be better prepared for Voldemort, I thought you understood."

"Harry," he said heavily and looked squarely into his eyes which are so much like Lily's though the rest of his face was a splitting image of James, "I may not like how Dumbledore conducts himself, I may even hate him sometimes, but I can't completely disregard everything he says. He's still the leader of the Order of the Phoenix, for better or for worse. So I can't give you what you're asking for."

Harry didn't understand. "So now you're backing up on your word, is that it? You agree with Molly Weasley now?"

He wanted to tell Harry to behave himself but that would be condescending and he wasn't his father. So he took a breath and tried to regain his patience

"Harry I never said I could tell you _everything,_ only some things."

"Yes, but what does it matter now? I can't repeat anything can I? I already tried to tell Ron something and my tongue got tied in a knot. The Secrecy Ban isn't exactly subtle!"

The Tongue-Tying spell wasn't the only component of the Secrecy ban, but Harry would discover that himself if he tried to say anything more about the Order to Ron or Hermione.

"Sorry Harry. I don't always listen to Dumbledore but I'm not going to outright defy him on this."

"Why, is there some spell that will tie your balls in a knot?!" Harry shouted.

He didn't think he'd laugh again that day, but somehow Sirius found himself laughing so loudly the sound of his laughter filled the room. Even though the joke was childish and stupid.

Harry started laughing too.

Everybody at the table stared at them, including Hermione. Her eyes stared angrily at his.

He didn't understand why Hermione was staring at him so hatefully but he shrugged it off. Female behaviour often exceeded his understanding.

When their laughter died down, he turned back to his godson and looked him squarely in the eyes to try to make him understand.

"The truth is, Harry, I could not tell you what the secret weapon is even if I wanted to."

"Why?" Harry said in disappointment.

"Only Dumbledore, Kingsley and I are aware of it, and we don't even fully understand it. Or maybe Dumbledore does but he doesn't let on that he does."

Harry hesitated for a moment as he mulled over this. "Does it involve me?"

Sirius shook his head.

"No, actually, it involves me." But he didn't answer anymore of Harry's questions. Though he loves Harry more than anything, there were some things Sirius could never tell him. Despite what Molly said, he was not irresponsible. He wouldn't endanger Harry's well-being by telling him what the secret weapon was. If Harry knew, it might compromise everything.

.

.

.

.

.

A/N: Ooh. What do you think the Order of the Phoenix's secret weapon could be? Will it change the course of events? I'm trying to keep as true to the characters as possible, which is why I paraphrased some lines from the Order of the Phoenix when Molly insults Sirius...but I also added in things that were not in the book. Like the Secrecy Ban and the secret weapon that involves Sirius rather than Harry. Expect surprises.

Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed the story so far!


End file.
